So my plan was the write everyday, at least for a month after I deleted my Facebook. Life is sometimes busy and so yesterday I didn’t have time to write. Reflecting on not using facebook now, sat here makes me laugh really. How it has become such a big deal when in reality all it is not going onto a website a entering information to and retrieving from. But socially of course it is more than that. Anyway, yesterday a few times I started typing fb.com in the search bar and then realised I’m not on it anymore. Shortly before I deleted it I had a conversation going with Alex in India and needed to respond once he had. I suddenly realised I couldn’t because I’m no longer there. That communication then has now gone through Cia after explaining to him that I had taken myself off there.
Taking photos also seemed slightly pointless to me to. As always, I see things that make me laugh or are interesting and without even thinking sometimes, I just take photos specifically for upload, not for personal collection.
We went to the woods too which was nice, in the new forest to reconnect ourselves to each other and to just go for a wander. We got the train which is one of the places that I would normally be on facebook, where the signal dips in and out and I would be constantly refreshing the page to look for new notifications like some crack addicted hound. This meant that I was and feel that I was more present in the moment, rather than dashing forward and backward in the timelines, reposting, reading and sharing.
I feel like I have more real life experiences this way rather than a simulated view of the world, viewed on a screen. Now I feel I am more aligned with myself, rather than being distracted by content.
I’ve begun thinking of my facebook use and what I actually used it for in terms of time. A lot of my time was used reposting links I had found through news sites or through google and also reposting other articles that others had posted up. Most of my use was for political means, again as I mentioned in my last blogpost to try and enlighten my little corner of the world.
But who was I talking to anyway? Certainly a large part of my facebook audience are like me. So yes, it often was preaching to the converted. But I think a lot of my time was also spent there out of habit, almost automatically repeating the patterns.
I thought I’d miss facebook and perhaps if I was still living in Bristol, perhaps I would. But I’m out of those loops now to, in the ‘real’ sense so it seems a lot easier to do that now.
What else? Well in all honesty, I just haven’t been thinking of it that much in a literal sense but also in a philosophical sense. It just hasn’t really been that important to me. I think it’s meant I’ve tried to spend more time with my mum in the past few days and with Cia. Funny really, because earlier we were watching a documentary about India on the television (normally one of my no no’s)
Looking over to my mum occasionally, I could see she was in facebook world. Scrolling, or whatever she was doing.
I guess the message really with anything is about moderation and if you are using it as a tool then it’s not all bad. And also is it having a positive or negative impact of your life and your mental health? Recent growth in young people developing anxiety problems I think must have a link to increasing computer and internet use. Maybe I should look into that and see what studies have been conducted to see for these correlations.
Funny, now to… I go on my computer and I don’t really have much to do on it. I have a few games, and I write a bit, but apart from that it’s basically news or my email.
I do wonder what I’m missing out on not being on there. I guess it’s like having a box of stuff in a cupboard that you don’t need or use. If you never use it and it’s hidden away, then whats the point in having it?
An old habit of mine was to use facebook last thing and night and first thing in the morning. That has taken a bit of getting use to, but going to work early means I don’t have time really anyway to do my facebook lounging. I’d often use facebook until my battery ran out on my phone and laptop – and even then If I still needed more juice to be plugged in, I’d go and get the power cable to give me more life.
So there it is for now, not much to say really apart from the experiment continues and I already of course feel more present. Not distracted by the flashing lights, I look around more and also continue to look at myself with more detail.
Social relations are important and if they aren’t maintained properly then they end, finish or fester. That was always my problem with facebook – I was trying to keep updated with so many people all at the same time, it ends up making you feel overloaded and stressed. My concentration levels suffered to, I guess a little bit like cigarettes. Similar after a few days of not smoking I completely forgot that I even smoked either.
So what do I do now? Well I’m going to continue reading my book that I started in India and I love so much ‘shantaram’
Certainly a more peaceful way to go to sleep.
Oh and I just remembered a thing that used to happen to me. I’d totally forgotten about this. It happened quite often to but I know that I wasn’t totally conscious. I was drifting between the dream world and the waking world. I’d actually be scrolling through facebook, or trawling through information and I remember the colour well – the facebook blue.
Anyway, signing off. Not signing out.